If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
