we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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