Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
