Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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