He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
