I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am available for nakedness
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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