Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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