I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he was CRYING into my vagina
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
