I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
