Just fell off a train. Bad.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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