I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize