Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize