There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i came on her dog
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize