So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
