Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
