in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dear god my vagina.
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