So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
