dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
