There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
