no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
