I'm sorry my penis didn't work
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
