Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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