so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
