One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
