Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize