You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
