I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize