I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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