Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
