I just saw a hot homeless man
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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