well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
