Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
