He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
