she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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