I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think brook has ever known best
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
