there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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