I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
