So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
