i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
