we're blogging at a bar
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
