I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You did what with his pubic hair?
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