We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
