can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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