i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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