omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
