i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
