am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
