I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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