it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
