Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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