I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
