haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
