Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
