I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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