is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
