can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
