Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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