Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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