I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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