He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
my poor anus
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
